Many women have felt invisible through the centuries, and not only felt that way, but virtually were. One woman who experienced this was Hagar, one of Sarai’s Egyptian slaves. Genesis 16 tells what happened to her when Sarai decided to take matters into her own hands and make God’s promise of many descendants come true early.

Hagar became one of Abram’s wives, became pregnant and developed a bit of a ’tude, despising her mistress. When Abram indicated he didn’t really care what happened to Hagar, Sarai abused her so much she ran away into the desert.

It’s not hard to imagine her emotional state as she headed out to almost certain death—pregnant, alone, unwanted, with no hope and no future. But it must have seemed a better alternative than what she had to endure from Sarai.

And then, as she sat by a spring at the side of a road, the angel of God found her and told her to go back and put up with the abuse. He then promised her many descendants as well. Hagar’s response was unlike any other in the Bible: “You’re the God who sees me! Yes! He saw me; and then I saw him! (Genesis 16:13, The Message). In that moment she knew she wasn’t invisible anymore.

No matter how small or insignificant you may feel at times, rest assured God sees you. We are not invisible to him—no one is. David asked what is man that God is mindful of him. The answer is, God so loved the world he gave his only son so that we might have eternal life.

He sees us and he loves us. And just as he found, comforted and guided Hagar, he does the same for every one of us. May he open our eyes to see him as she did, the Living God who sees us.

Wouldn’t you love to always be in the right place at the right time? Sometimes it happens by chance, sometimes it’s an answer to prayer, but it’s not something we can plan or control.

When those coincidences happen, some attribute them to an alignment of the stars, others just call it luck. Believers like to use the term God-incidence when they feel God was clearly involved. A God-incidence can be any situation where it seems God has brought either people or circumstances together for good. If we read Romans 8:28 correctly, this describes the whole of life.

This well known, but sometimes misunderstood verse doesn’t necessarily mean everything that happens is managed or controlled by God. But it does mean we can look for a good result even from the most difficult or even tragic events in life.

When Jesus died on the cross, his followers wondered how any good could come of that horrible turn of events. Some of the disciples went back to fishing, resigned to the realization this was the end of Jesus and all he came to do. For those three days between the crucifixion and the resurrection, all seemed lost. But as they discovered, and we now know, it wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning.

God, of course, had always intended good to come out of what looked like an impossible situation and it was more than a coincidence or even a God-incidence. This was God’s plan from the beginning. The whole of history up until then led to this fulcrum event, as part of God’s grand plan of love and redemption.

Jesus was at the right place at the right time and because he was, we also are in the right place at the right time. We are right where he wants us to be. In and through him, we are safe in the circle of Father, Son and Spirit, loved and redeemed by the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. We don’t have to wonder if our lives will have counted. No matter how hopeless the circumstances surrounding us, all will indeed work together for good in the end, because he loves us.

Just as the women and the disciples despaired during those three dark days, we sometimes wallow in despair, for ourselves or for others whose lives seem to hold no hope. But God will wipe every tear and give us the happy ending we want – all because Jesus was in the right place at the right time.

As the Samaritan woman handed him a drink, she looked into his eyes and saw overflowing grace.

For the widow whose son was brought back to life and restored to her, the look in Jesus’ eyes was full of compassion.

His eyes held mercy for the woman whose daughter was plagued by demons.

Jesus’ eyes looked out at the crowds, understanding their hunger and their need of a savior.

His eyes were filled with tears as he looked out over Jerusalem, longing to gather them as a hen does her chicks.

As he watched the guards roll dice for his cloak, he saw their ignorance and his eyes filled with forgiveness.

His eyes closed in death as he said, “It is finished,” and gave his spirit back to his Father.

As he spoke with Mary in the garden, his identity was hidden to her, but when he looked in her eyes, she knew him and saw his love.

On the road to Emmaus, the disciples took the cooked fish from his hands and saw in his eyes how much he cared.

His eyes today are filled with the same love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness as they were so many years ago. He has eyes that have seen the beginning of the world; eyes that steeled as he planned his eventual coming to earth as one of us and knew what he would have to suffer.

The eyes of Jesus look on all for whom he died with the ancient and ageless sovereignty over eternity – eyes that see the suffering of the human race and shine with eagerness to see his brothers and sisters join him in life everlasting.

The eyes of Jesus twinkle with warmth and love. They are as irresistible as his invitation to give our burdens and cares to him. As we look in his eyes, we see no condemnation, no judging and no recrimination for anything we’ve done. We can look in his eyes without fear, guilt or shame because those eyes see into our hearts and know us.

The eyes of the One who holds the keys of death and the grave are like flames of fire, lighting up the universe with his majesty and holiness. They hold the promise of our future, in perfect relationship with him, his Father and the Spirit.

The eyes of Jesus are on us, for us and filled with us, the apple of his eye. May we always look back at him with eyes filled with adoration, love and worship.

I don’t enjoy books or movies with sad endings. There are too many sad stories in real life. Perhaps it’s a form of escape, but happy stories make us feel good and remind us we can have hope in our lives.

The Bible is full of stories, some ending happily, some not. My favorite happy one is that of Joseph. His life began well enough, but the twists, turns, ups and downs keep you on the edge of your chair until the very end. Another Cinderella tale is Esther’s rise to royalty, with a couple of cliffhangers adding to the drama. And of course, there’s Job, who went through a lot of misery before his happy ending.

Many didn’t get their happy ending as we read in Hebrews 11, and won’t until we finish the race (verse 40). Wait – until we finish the race? Yes, God’s love is inclusive, which means he doesn’t want those who went before to receive the reward without us and vice versa. He loves everyone and his plan includes everyone. No one will be left out.

What this means is everyone who’s ever been born can have a happy ending. God has written the ultimate fairy tale, only it’s not a fairy tale as we know them, this one is true. It’s possible some may get lost on the way to the castle, but it’s also possible God won’t let them wander in the forest forever. His intention (1 Timothy 2:3-4) is for all people to be saved and to understand the truth about the Savior.

Most won’t experience a happy ending in this life and many will feel as if their lives have been hell on earth. But the good news is it will come. The ancients as they’re called in Hebrews 11, knew this and had faith that “is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (verse 1, NIV).

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV).

That sums it up pretty well. Happy ending, here we come!

I thought December went far too quickly. I enjoyed looking at the lights and decorations, pondering the mystery of Christ’s birth and the meaning of the Incarnation. It is a wonderful time of the year and I’d like to have slowed down time so I could savor it longer.

Most of us go through periods in our lives we wish could just be over. Sickness, mourning, financial difficulties, even less serious things, like exercise, all cause us to want the pain to end. At the end of one of my workouts, one enjoyable stretch position puts me on the floor, on my knees with my arms extended. The workout leader says: “You can pray now – thank God it’s over!” I always come back with: “Thank God I can still do this!”

I’m learning not to wish away even the difficult parts of life, not that I enjoy pain or problems, it’s just that coming out on the other side feels so good. We can look back to see lessons learned and God’s work for our good. Granted, some problems don’t go away. Remember the song that says: “If that’s all there is my friend, then let’s keep dancing”? “Let’s break out the booze and have a ball, if that’s all there is.” Certain difficulties and hurts won’t be solved in this life, so it’s good to remember this isn’t all there is. A time is coming when God will wipe away the tears and make everything right.

Gratitude and hope can help us get through life without wishing the bad parts away. Being thankful, even in and through the hard parts, makes life richer and stronger. Remembering the hope we have in Christ gives us a reason to keep going, to get through the pain and not let it break us. One of my favorite movie lines is from Steel Magnolias: “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” We grow in and through the trials. Our faith and trust in God are strengthened. We look forward even more to the new heaven and new earth.

As a child, when I wanted something to be over, my mom always told me not to wish my life away. Now I’m at the age I’d love to have back some of the time I so ungratefully wished away.

How often do you wish for things to end? Are you wishing your life away or enjoying the ride? Perhaps we should wait to say thank God it’s over for the very end, when we cross the finish line and win the race.

I looked around at the lights on my staircase, thinking of the Light of the world; at the tree with the blinking angel, announcing the birth of Jesus and at the nativity scene on the table, portraying the night of his birth. Christmas certainly isn’t about the rush to put gifts under the tree; it’s the celebration of the birth of our Savior.

Yes, I’ll do a little shopping, because I love giving gifts to my immediate family and a few close friends. I’ll be making Christmas cards and gifts for my bowling league, baking, singing and enjoying the lights and sounds of the season. But I’ll try and keep my focus on the reason for the season.

The problem is how to do it when all the voices around us are intent on getting us to focus on spending money we may not have on presents people don’t really need and will take back after Christmas. Focusing on Jesus is getting harder every year.

So how do we remember the reason for the season? One thing I’m doing is a reading plan of scriptures leading up to Jesus’ birth that includes comments and questions for contemplation. The other is to try not to get caught up in activities that have no bearing on the real meaning of Christmas. It’s difficult as the distractions of the season shout, while the Holy Spirit tends to whisper.

Jesus came into this world quietly, with no more fanfare than a silent star and no audience except a few smelly shepherds. The wise men didn’t show up until much later, even though they are always included in nativity sets. He grew up unknown and for the most part unremarkable, at least to outside eyes. When he began his ministry, those who knew him scoffed because he was that carpenter’s son – certainly no one to be worshiped.

Jesus goes about his business quietly today too. The Holy Spirit doesn’t shout at people, he works in the background, leading and guiding, giving support and comfort, loving us and then letting his love flow to others. The Holy Spirit is behind the scenes of Christmas too, even though materialism tries to drown out the message. We can keep Christ in Christmas if we can learn to shut out the hype and sales pitches and remember what it’s all about – the Creator becoming one of the created so the created could become one with the Creator.

None of us likes to be alone, at least not in the true sense. Our friends and families give us a sense of belonging and the comfort of help in time of need. Sometimes even the presence of strangers can be comforting. It’s a bit unnerving to walk into a place that should be filled with people to find it empty. It makes you wonder if a movie-type disaster of some kind occurred and you’re the only one left!

In reality, we are never alone. We often pray for God to be with us or with others, but it’s not necessary if we remember he is always with us. Jesus lives his life in the hearts of believers so there’s never a time when his presence isn’t closer than a breath or heartbeat. I’ve stopped praying for God to be with those for whom I’m praying, as I realize he’s already there, loving and taking care of them. It would be sad indeed if God had to wait for us to pray before he could intervene in people’s lives.

What about those who claim to have gone through a long, dark night of the soul? Even though we can’t argue with experience, we can question the premise that would lead people to believe God has abandoned them. Does God leave us on our own for periods of time to teach lessons or test us? If he truly lives in us, how could this happen? Our lives are completely intertwined with his and couldn’t be separated without our complete and utter decimation! Just as a parent wouldn’t leave a child alone to cry and flounder helplessly, neither does God leave us alone. The Holy Spirit teaches us by leading and guiding, not by abandoning us to our own devices and the pitfalls of life.

But what about Jesus? some will ask. Didn’t God desert him at his most vulnerable and when he needed his Father most? Jesus asked, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” (NIV throughout). These were the first words of Psalm 22, which the Jews would have known – and they also would have known the rest. Verse 24 says: “For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”

God did not abandon Jesus on the cross. He was right there with him as he took on all the sin of the world. He never abandons us, not even for short periods. He truly is God with us – all the time.

It means “in my humble opinion” and when people use it, including myself, I always wonder about the humble part. Perhaps adding the H to IMO (in my opinion) helps lessen the sting of what could be perceived as criticism.

Because humility is often seen as weakness and an attitude that won’t get anyone ahead in this world, arrogance is desired and even applauded. Humility and meekness are traits of servants and pastors, not business people and certainly not politicians. Anyone displaying humility is quickly dismissed by more savvy folks.

In his book, Hearing God, Dallas Willard gives his “fail-safe recipe” for achieving humility: don’t pretend to be what you are not; don’t presume a favorable position for yourself in any respect; and don’t push or try to override the will of others. He says try it for a month – money-back guarantee if it doesn’t work. Money-back guarantee? Maybe not, but the advice is definitely sound.

The opposite of each of these ingredients in Willard’s recipe is rampant in society today. How many of us pretend to be what we are not, at least some of the time? People have always misrepresented themselves, and it’s getting worse because of the anonymity of the Internet.

Jockeying for the best position – isn’t that what makes the world go around? Jesus reprimanded the Pharisees for continually seeking the best places for themselves. Even the mother of the Zebedee boys got in on the act, asking if her sons could be at the top, next to Jesus in his kingdom (Matthew 20:20-21).

As for the last point, the world is full of those who manipulate, control and override the will of others.

I can’t even imagine a world where humility is the rule of the day rather than arrogance and entitlement. How refreshing to be around honest, genuine people and not wonder if they are merely presenting a façade to get something from you.

Jesus had something to say about presuming a favorable position, didn’t he? It’s always better to take the lower place and be promoted than to take the first place and be demoted. Besides making you feel better, you avoid hurt feelings and looking stupid.

Paul said in Philippians 2 that we should have the same attitude as Jesus and value others above ourselves, with a servant-like attitude toward everyone. What a contrast to the prevalent me-first attitude. The New Testament is full of “one another” statements, like 1 Peter 3:8: “Finally, all of you, be likeminded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (NIV).

We often fear humility because it seems we will lessen or lose ourselves. We fear if we don’t funnel attention to ourselves, no one will notice us. But in Christ, we don’t need to fear humility. In him, we are more ourselves, more who we are and never less. Through his greatness and lowliness, we are complete. And that’s not just IMHO, it’s the truth.

Now that I’ve mastered downloading, I’ve been listening to podcasts and recordings of conference presentations while I walk. One speech by Amy Warren Hilliker, Rick and Kay Warren’s daughter, gave helpful information about surviving time in the wilderness. She talked about the Israelites who weren’t allowed to walk around the wilderness but had to go through it and how our lives are often like that. We have to go through the difficult times even though we wish and pray we can somehow go around, over or under them.

Hilliker gave five points to help us go through these times of wandering in our own wilderness: seek solitude, practice contemplation, create community, pursue service and surrender to Jesus. This is nothing new but it’s nice to be reminded sometimes, isn’t it?

When we hear someone talk about silence and solitude, most of us nod our heads and think, yes, I need to do that. How many of us have good intentions but never seem to get around to spending quiet time with God? We need to put it on the calendar and give it priority. Just you and him, in real solitude and silence, taking time to contemplate God and his ways.

We need real friends, garbage friends, as speaker Kathleen Hart calls them. Maybe we should go back to simpler times, when women got together to wash their clothes in the river. Wait, not that far back! We can still wash clothes in the machine, but the talking together would be great. When was the last time you and a friend solved the world’s problems over tea or coffee? Or even chatted online? Community and service keep us in touch with the people in our lives. Distance is no problem now. Get together with someone soon.

And then there’s surrender. Most of us like to be in control, even though we know we don’t have much control over most things in our lives. When we worry, we think we’re exerting control, when we’re only causing stress to ourselves and those around us. It takes time, but surrendering to God means we learn—sometimes the hard way—to depend on him and not on our own power. We learn to choose joy instead of worry and let him take care of what we know deep down we can’t control.

Our difficulties and trials must be faced, head on, no going around them. Practicing these five things can help us enjoy the wonders of the wilderness and be thankful God knows the way through. Just follow him.

I’ve noticed it’s easier not to have expectations of people I don’t know well than of family and friends. I didn’t know why until I read the conversation in chapter 14 of The Shack (“Verbs and Other Freedoms”). Papa, Sarayu, Jesus and Mack are discussing how God is a verb – “alive, dynamic, ever active, and moving.” Papa surprises Mack by saying she has no expectations of him and goes on to explain: “Honey, I’ve never placed an expectation on you or anyone else. The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations.”

Papa then tells him what she does have: “a constant and living expectancy in our relationship.”

What a beautiful way to describe the relationship we have with God. Rather than having the expectation that we will live up to his standard of perfection, which he knows we can never do, and then being disappointed in us, he lives in a state of expectancy, of simply being together and enjoying what happens next.

The opposite can also be true: rather than having expectations of God, as we know him better and trust him more, we can live in expectancy with him, enjoying his presence and our relationship. This would lessen our anger and disappointment with him, as we sometimes try to control him with our prayers and other manipulations.

And what if we applied this to our friends and family? I would love to be able to let go of my expectations (read: efforts to control) and simply be. How many marriages and families would benefit from leaving expectations behind to live in positive, happy expectancy? As much as I would like to live this way, as I look over my relationships, it seems impossible. As I mentioned earlier, with friends it may happen from time to time, but from those we know best, we seem to expect more.

Expectations change a living relationship into a dead thing with rules and requirements, but as Sarayu (the Holy Spirit) told Mack: with friends, “there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. It is alive and dynamic.”

Letting go of our expectations to live in trusting, wide-eyed and hopeful expectancy with God and our friends and family sounds like more fun than trying to control everyone with our expectations, doesn’t it?